


Two idiots get together

by Kuhaoyaoi



Category: Gintama
Genre: Alcohol, Drinking, Fluff, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, cursing, this is super short cause I can't write
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-19
Updated: 2019-10-19
Packaged: 2020-12-24 01:53:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21091436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kuhaoyaoi/pseuds/Kuhaoyaoi
Summary: Hijikata and Gintoki are dumb and have internalized homophobia that’s resolved way too quickly and it makes no sense but that’s just cause I can't write longer fics than 4000 words ;))))) (rated teen for cursing )





	Two idiots get together

**Author's Note:**

> It's been so long since I wrote anything because I kept telling myself it was all just cringy and stupid but then realized that if writing fanfiction about the characters I love makes me happy I should just do it and not care about anything anyone has to say about it.

Gintoki took the last pudding from the fridge knowing that it was going to get him in trouble later but also not caring cause he was having a bad day and he needed his sugar right now. He had had a pretty bad argument with Zura who had tried to pry into his love life and acted all high and mighty as if he knew how Gintoki was feeling. That pissed him off. 

Gintoki also secretly knew that what Zura had said had not been far from the truth:

"You shouldn't keep all your feelings bottled up like that, you know. You're obviously in love I can tell" 

Fuck you Zura, Gintoki thought. In love? Infatuated? Unable to get one bastard off of his mind? Yeah maybe but he didn't ask for that to be pointed out to him. And the fact that Zura didn't even know that the person Gintoki liked was a man was somehow hurtful. Gintoki was sure that he wouldn't have said those words if he had known. 

Well he didn't know , but being attracted to the same sex wasn't exactly perfectly ok in people's eyes. It wasn't like there was full on hatred just that a lot of people found it to be "disgusting", "uncomfortable", "dirty". Those were the words that Gintoki had heard in his lifetime and surely had used them himself. He knew that was wrong but it wasn't easy to admit that to himself. He wasn't the most selfloving person after all. He had a lot of things he regretted and a lot of things he hated about himself. Being gay or bisexual or whatever was just another thing to make himself feel bad. 

But he couldn't stop himself from looking whenever Hijikata Toshirou came into his view. They had had a rough start to their friendship, if you could even call it that. They still fought a lot whenever they met, possibly because they were too similar. Yet they somehow ended up hanging around each other, going drinking or eating together, never really talking about anything that deep, just casual conversation. Being with Hijikata had become a way blow of some steam and Gintoki felt so awful every time he would catch a glimpse of Hijikata's neck or collarbone or, well, behind. He felt like a bad person, as if he was lying to the man in front of him being so sure that he wouldn't be sitting there with him if he knew. 

And really if it was just a temporary infatuation, attraction or curiosity it would've been easier. But whenever Hijikata, that Bastard, would show a sign of vulnerability or put his guard down for even just a moment Gintoki felt such an uncontrollable urge to protect him. Even though he knew that Hijikata, if anyone, didn't need protecting. And that's when he knew this wasn't something lighthearted. That and whenever he would flash a genuine smile Gintoki felt like his heart was about to burst from his chest. He had never felt this way towards anyone. This wasn't just sexual attraction but also romantic. And Gintoki didn't know about romantic. He didn't know how to handle these sort of feelings. They were foreign and unsettling and invasive. 

The sound of Kagura coming home snapped him out of his brooding thoughts. Oh shit, he thought as he quickly finished the pudding he had stolen and hid the empty container behind his back. 

"Is anyone home?" she called out from the entrance and made her way to the living room. She saw Gintoki looking suspicious but thought nothing of it until she went to the fridge to get the pudding she had been saving for today that she had clearly marked with a note saying "this is Kagura's pudding if you touch it I will kill you". And to her surprise, (but also not really) the pudding was no longer there. 

Gintoki sweated nervously and dared to look Kagura in the face. Which was a bad idea cause her face had morphed to one of a soul eating demon and that was enough to get Gintoki to quickly dash out the door while yelling "sorry I'll buy you a new one!". He was out the door before Kagura could hit him with a wooden cabinet. That's going to cost a lot of money to repair, Gintoki thought as he heard Kagura wrecking havoc behind him. Certainly wasn't easy living with an alien child. 

Hijikata's pov

The Shinsengumi, or mostly just Hijikata, had had a rough week. A woman had mistaken him as a stalker while he had been on a stakeout, someone had been spreading weird rumours about him, and he was pretty sure it was Sougo, and some idiot had started a fire in his office, again most likely Sougo. 

Hijikata was utterly exhausted and ready to murder anyone who came to disturb him while he was finishing his paperwork. Thankfully no one came, for their sake and he was able to finish his work and finally leave. He needed something to clear his head, or rather something to make his head fuzzy. And he headed for his regular ramen place near the river. 

He wasn't surprised to see Gintoki there, it was his regular place as well. Though at first Hijikata had hated seeing the cocky bastards face, now it had become sort of a calming presence. He wasn't sure when, but sometime he had started to really relax around Gintoki. And he felt that he could let go of his work stress for the short while they spent together. And he really valued their friendship now. Even though he didn't like the fact that Gintoki was trying to cover for criminals sometimes. And the way he did things often ended up bringing trouble to the Shinsengumi. But Gintoki was a man of his word and loyal beyond anything. And Hijikata really admired that about him. 

Not like in a weird way. Like he wasn't gay if you asked. Gintoki was attractive sure but let's just not go there. There was nothing like that between them and Hijikata certainly wasn't looking at those muscly arms just now no. He was straight. Girls. Women. Not men. Not Gintoki. And it wasn't like he had any time for that sort of thing anyway.

He distracted himself by ordering sake only to see Gintoki pouring him a cup already and handing it to him. 

"you look like you've had a bad day" 

"am I that see-through?" Hijikata sighed and took the cup, downing it in one swift motion. 

"I guess I can just read you" that had sounded like flirting but it probably wasn't. Why would Gintoki flirt with him? Yeah it was probably just Hijikata's brain overthinking things. 

"You can't read shit" he heard a heavy laugh in response and soon they were more than a little drunk. The owner had to basically kick them out of his stall so they would leave. 

They held onto each other for support as they waddled on their way home. Gintoki felt the need to Escort Hijikata and thankfully the man was too drunk to question him why. 

When he had seen Hijikata safely home Gintoki went home himself too. Only on the way remembering that he had promised Kagura to buy her a new pudding. So he noticed a 24/7 open store and walked in trying his best to not look as plastered as he was. He managed to buy some pudding, hoping Kagura's rage had subsided from earlier. 

Gintoki pov

The next morning was awful. Why did he drink so much? well at least he hadn’t let anything weird slip out of his mouth yesterday. Not that he’d remember. Wait what if he did say something weird? His slight panic grew stronger when he heard the doorbell ring. Well there was no way that that would be Hijikata at the door. It would be too coincidental. And what could he have to say anyway to come all the way here? 

He got up while rubbing his head that was throbbing and quickly put on some clothes. He went to open the door and sure enough Hijikata, that bastard was standing there, obviously just as hangover as he was and yet still seemed to look so beautiful in Gintoki's eyes. He had it bad.

“Were not buying anything” he said with a deadpan look and expected a remark but nothing came. Hijikata stood quiet and it was pretty nerve wracking for Gintoki. 

“what’s up?” he asked concerned. 

“Do you...remember what happened yesterday?” Hijikata asked carefully. Gintoki was baffled. That attitude told him that something definitely out of the ordinary had had to have happened. Why else would Hijikata look so vulnerable. And the worst part was that Gintoki had no fucking idea what it was that was making Hijikata make that face. 

“Uh...well let me rewind a bit… we uh drank by the river and got kicked out and then I walked you home and left?” Gintoki was nervous, he knew that couldn't have been the entire story. But Hijikata lifted his face and gave him a sad smile.

“Yeah that’s what happened I just uh… came to make sure I remembered things right… I’ll take my leave now” he looked like on the verge of tiers and Gintoki felt his body move on its own to grab his hand before he could turn around. He paused, realized what he did and blushed furiously.

“I uh I don't think my story is a complete one based on how you're acting so…” he let go of hijikata’s hand and gestured him to come inside. Hijikata looked uncomfortable and ready to run away but he stepped inside anyway. He had probably mentally prepared himself before coming there. 

“Is that really all you remember?” he asked shyly after they had sat down on the sofa to talk things out. 

“Did I say something last night? Or ...do? Oh my god what did I do?” Gintoki panicked and held his head in his hands.

“Nothing! You didn’t do anything except take me home…” Gintoki looked at him questioningly. Then what had happened? Hijikata was being too secretive. 

“You didn’t do anything but you did say… and I said and….” Hijikata had a very hard time saying any of this out loud. It was so goddamn embarrassing he could die. Fucking Gintoki had to forget and then be all concerned and not let him just leave, fuck. But he had made up his mind about coming here. He had thought about his own feelings all night while not getting barely any sleep. Gintoki was growing impatient. 

“...What did I say? What did you say?” he was dying to know what the fuck was making Hijikata act this way. What could he have possibly have said? There were too many options.

“Well...while we were walking last night, you said ‘maybe I should just crash at your place’ to witch I said ‘no way I want a leech like you to enter my house’ and you got all quiet after that and started crying-” 

“HUH?!” 

“Shh I’m not done yet- so, you cried and I asked you ‘what's wrong’ and you said ‘am I really just a leech to you?’” he stopped for a moment and swallowed. 

“And?” Gintoki asked.

“And then I said ‘no’ and then you said I was lying so… I remember I said something the lines of ‘why do you care? are you in love with me or something?’” Hijikata was now just as red as Gintoki and neither of them dared to look each other in the face.

“And what did I answer?” 

“Well I actually came here cause I knew you would have forgotten at least a part of it. And well I didn’t expect that you wouldn’t remember any of it but-”

“Hijikata” Gintoki’s tone was a bit desperate, enough so that Hijikata looked him in the eyes. He took a deep breath to settle himself down.

“I came here cause I wanted to know what you would answer now. Because yesterday you were drunk so….” he trailed of, locking his fingers toghter and playing with them. 

“Yeah” Gintoki said almost immediately. He had nothing to hide anymore and the way this conversation was going he could see Hijikata wasn’t as reluctant to this as Gintoki had imagined in his mind.

“huh?” Hijikata blinked in confusion. 

“I said yes” Gintoki repeated now looking Hijikata dead in the eyes.

“oh?” Hijikata couldn’t look away, though he desperately wanted to when he realized the meaning behind the affirmative answer. Gintoki gently placed his hand on Hijikata’s.

“So what do think of that? Of….me?” the tension in the air had somehow thickened as though you could cut through it. Hijikata decided to make the mood a bit lighter. 

“You’re dumb as shit, lazy and uncultured” he said but there was no ill intention in his voice. 

“Ouch” Gintoki chuckled.

“But yeah”

“Yeah?” what does he mean yeah, Gintoki thought. 

“I said yes” The words repeated back to him gave him the realization that that right there had been a confession. 

“That's not really the correct way to answer….but it’s cute so I’ll take it” he couldn’t help his teasing. He saw how Hijikata’s face filled up with color. He was red all the way to his ears. He liked being called cute, Gintoki made sure to remember. He was sure though, that Hijikata would never admit to that.

“I WHA- cu- CUTE I Shut up…” oh wow he was so cute, Gintoki thought when he heard the stutter in his voice. He decided to keep that to himself for now. 

“Hijikata” he called his name and their eyes locked again. Their gazes burned a new kind of flame. Gintoki leaned in but stopped right before their lips touched as if wordlessly asking if this was ok. Hijikata took the hint and kissed him first, letting him know that this was something he wanted as well. After all neither of them were the best at communication through words. This seemed to work for them though. They were more used to expressing themselves through action anyways. 

it truly seemed like the tension had snapped as they were both quickly all over each other desperately trying to get closer. Gintoki was about to push him down gently but stopped in his tracks when he heard the front door open. It was Shinpachi who unbeknownst to what was happening in the living room called out cheerily and headed to where the two men were now frantically trying to fix themselves to look as if nothing had happened. He entered the room and both Hijikata and Gintoki were sitting on the sofa, sweating profusely in an unnaturally stiff position. 

Shinpachi felt the air was heavy and awkwardly greeted them both. He got back a strangely robotic answer of “hello Shinpachi”. In his head he was screaming about the situation; what the hell was happening? As he thought that Kagura burst in the room making Gintoki realize that she had been there the whole time.

“Oh Shin-chan thank god you’re here, I wouldn’t have known what to do if those two had started fucking” 

“Eh?!” Shinpachi yelled.

Both Hijikata and Gintoki put their heads in their hands and screamed internally. What a day that one was.


End file.
